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There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he would try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone , because he did not much like the idea of her screwing some one else. So, he went to the sex toy store and started looking around. He thought about a life size sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos looking for something special to please his wife. He started talking to the old man, who replied, " Well. I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments and so on, but I do not know of anything thing that will keep her occupied for weeks, except..."and he stopped. "Except what ", asked the businessman. " Well sure, I do not usually mention this, but there is the 'VOODOO DICK' " "So what's up with this VOODOO DICK?" , the business man wants to know. The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box, carved with strange symbols. He opened it and there lay a very ordinary looking dildo. The business man laughed and said, " Big fucking deal, it looks like every other dildo in this shop." The old man, " But you haven't seen what it will do yet." He pointed to the door and said " VOODOO DICK the door. " The VOODOO DICK rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door could split the old man said, " VOODOO DICK get back in the box. " The VOODOO DICK stopped, floated back to the box and lay there quiescent once more. The business man said, " I'll take it. " The old man resisted saying, " It's not for sale. " After much haggling he finally surrendered to $900 in cash. The business man took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it all she had to say was " VOODOO DICK my pussy. " The businessman left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone. After he was gone a few days his wife was unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would be willing to satisfy her but then she remembered the VOODOO DICK. She got it out and said, " VOODOO DICK my pussy. " The VOODOO DICK shot out of the box to her crotch and started pumping, It was unbelievable, like nothing she had ever experienced before. After three orgasms she decided she had enough and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off!!! So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got into her car and started to drive to the hospital quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road and she was pulled over by a policeman. He asked her for her license, and then asked how much she had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained that she had not been drinking, but that the VOODOO DICK was stuck in her pussy, and would not stop screwing her. The officer looked at her for a few seconds and then said, " Yea right, VOODOO DICK, my ass. " |
